Everything in its Place

"Compartmentalizing" is a skill that helps simplify your life. It is also to blame for screwing up a lot of important things on our planet.

For example, let's say you work as an executioner. When you come home to the wife and kiddies, you probably don't want to talk about work.

"How was work, honey?"

"Pretty good. The first guy whimpered a lot, and you know I hate wimps, so I was glad to bring down the axe on his neck."

Or imagine you work in a cubicle surrounded by ambitionless geeks and vulture-like managers while angry customers demand that you read their minds and fix all their problems. You probably don't even want to THINK about work any more than absolutely necessary.

In such cases, it's useful to leave work at the dungeon. The instant you step outside, you step into a new compartment where work does not exist, and this makes the rest of your life tolerable.

On the other hand, many businessmen, for example, compartmentalize their morals when it comes to making money. They'd never steal candy from a baby, but if they can decline a widow's valid insurance claim, it'll look good at their annual performance review. If an attorney can overcharge a client, that's more cash in the coffers and a better chance s/he'll make partner.

Such people go to church under the illusion that they are decent people. "Business is business," they say, as if real life were just a harmless game of Monopoly. They would never rob a bank, but underreporting tips is okay because diners in this town are lousy tippers anyway. They would never shoplift, but enjoy pirated music and software without a second thought. "Everybody's doing it." God will surely understand.

Well, in a conversation the other night, I realized something about myself: I don't compartmentalize well. The means and the end are inseparably connected in my mind. My focus can change, but I don't really have separate work and play modes. Life is life. People are people. I am me.

This is good and bad.

Bad because if something is bugging me, I have to take care of it. I can turn my focus away somewhat, but it's still there.

Bad because it limits the occupations I am willing to have. I can't tell myself "It's just work," and slave away, turning off my feelings and the part of my brain shouting what a pointless job it is until 5:00.

Good because the satisfaction of enjoying my work carries over into the rest of my life as well, and vice versa. I step back, look at the big picture, and it can look pretty darn good when everything falls into place.

Good because this forces me to improve all aspects of my life. If I'm not yet satisfied, then I figure out how to change things until I am.

Good because it helps me connect more fully with people. It means you're not just getting one side of me, and I probably won't blindside you with someone different when we meet elsewhere.

In the end, I'm willing to suffer if it means I'll enjoy more. Good thing, because I don't think I could change if I wanted to.